Please don't use AI to write your wedding vows

Something as personal and sacred as your marriage vows deserves a human touch, not words generated by a robot. In this post I'll explain the difference between legal and personal marriage vows, and explore why it's important to steer clear of LLMs and AI like Chat GPT to create the wording for your personal vows at your wedding or elopement.

Authentic, non-AI generated elopement vows captured by photographer Red Eclectic

Why shouldn't I use ChatGPT for my wedding vows?

I'm a marriage celebrant who's been helping couples write their own wedding vows since 2020, and I'm hoping to convince you NOT to turn to LLMs like ChatGPT when you write your vows.

Sure, AI can be useful in some contexts. However when it comes to writing your marriage vows, ChatGPT and other LLMs (Large Language Models, for example Gemini, CoPilot, Perplexity), are not the tools to use.

To understand exactly what we're talking about when we say 'personal vows', first we need to look at the difference between legal and personal vows.

What legal vows are required at a marriage ceremony in Australia?

Marriage legislation in Australia states that during the marriage ceremony, both parties to the marriage need to speak the words:

“I ask everyone here to witness that I [FULL NAME] take you [PARTNER’S FULL NAME] to be my lawful wedded spouse/wife/husband/partner in marriage.”

These are usually called the 'legal vows'. You can personalise your legal vows by choosing, with your partner, what each of you would like to be called and call each other.

What are personal vows at a marriage ceremony?

As well as the legal vow wording, you can choose to add extra wording. In the industry we call these 'personal vows'; and this is where the gold lies.

As a marriage celebrant I love to encourage all my couples to write their own vows. There's nothing like the moment in a ceremony when two people speak their promises out loud to each other. Words are powerful - and the right words can truly create magic.

AI writing wedding vows - Artificial vs Authentic

I think a lot of us have forgotten that the 'A' in AI stands for 'artificial'. Do you want artifice in your vows? Or would you prefer they were authentic and absolutely yours?

For me, authenticity always wins. Your vows should sound like you, not like a robot has written them.

What's wrong with ChatGPT or AI written vows?

In my experience, LLM 'written' vows sound the same. They aren't laid out in any particular order, and are full of cliches.

This is because Chat GPT will regurgitate other people's vows, or the same old rehashed vows that have been circling the internet for the last 20 years. Your vows will end up sounding generic, yet the whole point of writing your own personal vows is that they are unique!

Even if you feed it in good, personalised prompts, it will muddle them and overwork them like a bad Mojito, bruising them and putting in too much of something that only needs a dash - (and I'm not talking about em-dashes - IYKYK).

Other reasons not to use LLMs

LLMs like ChatGPT are terrible for the environment. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/article/2024/may/30/ugly-truth-ai-chatgpt-guzzling-resources-environment

LLMs like ChatGPT steal work from my fellow creatives

https://www.meaa.org/stop-ai-theft/

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/sep/10/tech-companies-are-stealing-our-books-music-and-films-for-ai-its-brazen-theft-and-must-be-stopped

And AI is teaching us to believe that we can't make any of our own decisions any more, and that we don't have skills we actually do have.

But I'm not a writer! I can't write my own wedding vows by myself!

Not everyone is a writer, and that's okay. Your vows should sound like you. You are marrying your person. You know what it is you want to say. Trust yourself.

Sure, if you can't find a particular word, look up alternatives. If you're not as old as me, and don't have access to an old-school actual book thesaurus, you could use an online thesaurus like https://www.thesaurus.com

If words aren't your thing, that's fine, because they are mine. I've helped countless couples craft beautiful wedding vows from just a few notes.

Ok, ok, I won't get ChatGPT to write my vows. I'll just use it to 'polish' them...

STOP!!!!! Especially I'm your celebrant, - please don't use Chat GPT to 'polish' your vows. It will change everything and I'll have to spend ages 'de-ChatGPT-ing' them.

I promise you I will make that scratchy bullet point list of things you send to me into something better than Chat GPT will. Because I am a person, and an experienced marriage celebrant, and I know you, and I'm co-creating your entire ceremony with you, so I understand the vibe of the day.

Please just send me whatever you have - snippets, bullet points, ideas - and let me polish it for you. This service is included in The Elopement Package and The Wedding Package so it's not costing you anything. Please - just let me do it!

Final thoughts on AI generated wedding vows

There is no rule saying you HAVE to have personal vows in your ceremony.

If you're resisting it so much that you're thinking about getting AI to write your wedding vows, you're effectively outsourcing the creation of them. It's a sign that most probably, you don't actually want to do it.

So don't.

Better not to have personal vows at all than stand up and speak empty, generic promises. Your vows should sound like you, and they won't if you let a robot write them.

For more about Personal Vows, see Do you need vows at an elopement?